Married 7 tears I am wife. We have 2 kids together but also have his older children living with us. His house sms land before we got married..we argue daily we are both miserable.. But at same time care about each other some..but the argue intense.. Not physical yet but intense.. Kids are struggling I am struggling... He has a " hobby" he calls a job I am a correctional officer.. I work long nights since starting work our relationship much much worse..I have tried to do what I could to make him happy in many ways.. I work all time I try to come home and keep house clean and cook I take care of the younger kids and the older ones when home they stay with their grandma a lot now bc she spoils them and the argue at home has gotten worse and bc the younger son is hyper... But when they are at the house I take care of them.. He has told me to leave numerous times he has told me to take kids numerous times that he only wants every other weekend.. He will also turn around and tell me if I leave he will get me for alimony and child support and u won't see my kids.. He has said he don't want the kids but he won't let me have them. He will have a good lawyer.. He can also turn around and be kind for a little while apologize and say he is struggling with some mental illness right now and he will get help to check it out but has said that before.. He gets anxiety and angry on the nights I need him keep kids while I work .. I try to get a babysitter for most nights but some I cannot.. But our son is hyper and a special needs child and daughter 2 so they are a handful I understand.. But at same time i just need him be able to keep so I can work.. Its a mess as far as amount sleep I get due to argue or lack of help... I.. Really do not want this to make him sound like a horrible person.. I just am struggling.. And tryi g find my options he will get so angry that the way he looms and grits teeth and yells and everything is frightening.. He has talked harmful stuff before but never acted on it but makes me want to do all I can to find a sitter since that is the main trigger I try to make him happy all I can but o feel we are getting and of our rope and I don't know how much lo get our entire family can do the up and down or back and forth.. I have my own issues o am not perfect.. I get frustrated upset and overwhelmed I can't keep house as clean or organized as he would want and I have made mistakes but never cheated... I am wondering.. If the time comes to it when we ar e arguing or maybe even not if it is time to leave can I legally do that with the kids.. Can he get alimony bc I left? Do I have a case that looks favorable if we went to divorce if we went for custody? I have been so worried for so long on fear to leave bc I want to help him I meant him to get help and keep him happy and safe but my kids need that too.. And I need some kind of relief or way to breathe too.. But I dear he will get my kids or I will spend all my time giving alimony which if its necessary I guess its ok.. But I just fear fighting him.. He wins everything...what are my possible options.. Thank you for your help sorry for the long story thank you..